Pre-Deliverance Defensive

The goal of DELIVERANCE is wholeness and complete freedom from demonization.

I’m not there yet. It’s not for a lack of trying. I’m just not there yet.

I consider myself to be in a state of partial deliverance. Every time I have advanced (and there have been substantial advancements), within several days to a week, the deliverance experienced has started to lose ground. Insecurity and torment (though not as bad as before) began to creep in.

Key for Deliverance: Evict the Lead Spirit

I am told — and I believe — that the lead spirit, the one over all the others oppressing me, has not been ridden. I am told that without casting out and keeping out the head spirit (the strong man), unclean spirits (demons) will keep being invited in. While hearing this was disconcerting, I mostly find this knowledge empowering. It gives me something to work with, something to focus on, instead of seeing myself as a freak that is “undeliverable”.


I have a face-to-face deliverance session scheduled with a team who has successfully prayed over me before to “take the edge off” before my scheduled session in the spring (of 2020), which got cancelled due to all the mayhem. I am confident in their integrity, their approach and their effectiveness. The thing is, though, the appointment is not for several weeks. Meanwhile, what do I do as these demons seem to creep back in more and more each day?

Lately I have awakened each morning feeling progressively tormented on the inside. This slow seeping in has brought with it an increasing degree of worrisome anticipation and fear on my part.

There are those who say, “Then don’t be fearful,” or “You just have to have faith.” “Help” like this only makes things worse. Yet, solutions and strategies must be discovered. Our lives are on the line here.

This morning, a bit ago, I awoke with the torment having increased in my head, but at the same time, I awoke with the following Bible verse in my head:

I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.

Philippians 4:13 (NKJV)

I don’t ever remember waking up with that verse in my head. Yet, this morning it was there (except with the word, “in” instead of “through”). I began to repeat it over and over. And lo and behold, it strengthened me.

How could something so simple be so effective?

As I continued to repeat this verse, the torment in my head subsided. Not only that, solutions started coming up as to how to go about my spiritual practices. New solutions. On most days I am largely immobilized with starting and completing my spiritual practices, no matter how simple or straightforward. Conversely, this morning — with relief — I noticed I was able to get up effortlessly and start implementing them in a sort of multi-tasking (which usually doesn’t work for me) way. As I opened my computer (takes time) I recited the Loosing/Binding/Reversing prayer at the forefront of my binder, then went to the next page: a self-deliverance prayer. Meanwhile, as I noticed my computer was up and running, I looked for the song, “Power in the Blood” on YouTube. This one by the Brooklyn Tabernacle Choir (ft. Charity Gayle) appeared and I played it while memorizing (written at the top of page three of my binder) Matthew 4:23.

Jesus went throughout Galilee, teaching in their synagogues, preaching the good news of the kingdom, and healing every disease and sickness among the people.

Matthew 4:23 (NIV 1984)

If you knew me…

If you knew me, you would know that I get paralyzed easily, especially when it comes to my spiritual practices and moving forward in work and studies: namely, anything to do with progress and truly strengthening. That’s why I’m excited about what happened this morning. I discovered a new tool in my defense playbook that actually, unwittingly, turned out to be an offensive play.

“The best defense is a good offense.”

What I thought in the moment serves to fight off demons actually seems to make them run.

Don’t get me wrong. Memorizing and reciting this one Bible verse, while highly effective, is not a magical weapon that stands alone. There are other powerful and essential practices in play here, ones that have been accumulated, some of which are there but dormant for the moment. I just find it thrilling that this Bible verse has taken me over the edge (positively) in my struggles to put spiritual bondage behind me. It took this experience to really drive home the teaching that the Word is living and powerful.

For the word of God is quick, and powerful, and sharper than any twoedged sword, piercing even to the dividing asunder of soul and spirit, and of the joints and marrow, and is a discerner of the thoughts and intents of the heart.

Hebrews 4:12 (KJV)

For the word of God is living and active. Sharper than any double-edged sword, it penetrates even to dividing soul and spirit, joints and marrow; it judges the thoughts and attitudes of the heart.

Hebrews 4:12 (NIV 1984)

Additional Thoughts on Deliverance

There is so much to be said about deliverance and the process. I have a voracious appetite for its teachings — so much so that I can forget about the other aspects of freedom — the offensive. What happened this morning, I believe started in the church yesterday and in all the Sundays and prayers building up to yesterday. I can’t help but believe that angels were fighting for me during the night. I find myself growing in the belief that it’s not only demons attacking while we sleep, but angels coming to our rescue and our defense, and also providing us with weapons, tools and insights.

Deliverance is a process. At this point I am glad that it is costing me, that slowly but surely I am learning and experiencing its teachings along the way. Hope is increasing and faith is expanding — not just the kind of faith that focuses solely on positive things, but perhaps more importantly, the kind of faith that cries on the inside, “Keep going. Keep pushing. Keep turning to God. Press through. Stay alert.” …and more than infrequently whimpers, “Father, help me; Jesus, help me,” when there is no more strength and words cannot be found.

God bless you in your path towards and holding firmly to your freedom in Christ Jesus.


Bible Verse References:

  • NIV 1984: New International Version, published in 1984
  • KJV: King James Version
  • NKJV: New King James Version

Referenced/Recommended Sites:

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