Chaos on the Inside

I find myself today feeling intimidated by others — faithful others who dedicate their lives to doing God’s work. I question things and raise what I consider to be serious concerns. Is it wrong to raise the concerns? I ask myself, “Who am I to question?” possibly echoing their thoughts.

Am I exaggerating? Am I making a mountain out of a molehill? Am I rocking the boat unnecessarily? Or am I , once again, being silenced into passive submission because others know what’s best for me?

I am in a state of chaos internally now. I don’t have clarity. Fear of man combined with my own mental and emotional issues combined with…what? I don’t have the answers, but I sure do have a lot of questions.

I ask myself, “Does what I’m experiencing internally have any relation to the following verse?”:

Fear of man will prove to be a snare.

Proverbs 29:25 (NIV 1984)

or…?

Am I now trying to win the approval of men or of God? Or am I trying to please men. If I were still trying to please men, I would not be a servant of Christ Jesus.

Galatians 1:10 (NIV 1984)

It started out with…

But Peter and John replied, “Judge for yourselves whether it is right to obey you rather than God. For we cannot help speaking about what we have seen and heard.”

Acts 4:19 (NIV 1984)

The best response I can muster right now to all this internal chaos and upheaval is, “Stay the course.” …and, “Stay alert.”

Therefore, prepare your minds for action; be self-controlled:….

Be on your guard; stand firm in the faith;…

Therefore, my dear brothers, stand firm. Let mothing move you.

1 Peter 1:13a and 1 Peter 5:8 and 1 Corinthians 16:13a and 1 Corinthians 15:58a (NIV 1984)

Finally…

Wait on the LORD; be strong and take heart and wait on the LORD.

Psalm 27:14 (NIV 1984)

…and the response:

I waited patiently on the LORD; he turned to me and heard my cry.

Psalm 40:1 (NIV 1984)

Featured photo from Pexels.com

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